Day 25: access

Today I discovered I have viral bronchitis. While it took over 2.5 hours of waiting to see a doctor through the day, I am thankful to have access to a very thorough medical practitioner who checked me to ensure I did not have pneumonia, the flu, or strep, which was good and gave me some meds to ease the cough. Not exactly what you want to hear after a long wait, but better than being told you have a cold I suppose:) off to sleep and 'resting' tomorrow as I work on final projects all day. 

Day 24:Encouragement

Today was a long day. A long, long day. I am starting to get sick, which made it longer, but there was a bit of encouragement sprinkled in there. I sat in class, with low energy due to aforementioned foreboding sickness, which I thought was allergies but is proving to be more, and my classmates actually were super awesome. I mentioned that I would be presenting on a topic next Thursday instead of showing a poster about an illustrator/author, because I feel passionately about this topic and it needs to be discussed. Also, I love presenting, so it seemed like a good fit. This came up, and my classmates on several occasions throughout class told me that they think I will be an incredibly Child Life Specialist. One even said, "Michelle, me and another classmate agreed if our children ever need to be hospitalized, we want you there with them to help us through..."

This totally melted my heart and lifted it too. I have been fighting so hard for so long to get into the field of Child Life, and I am so glad that I am not the only person who sees that it is the career for me. I mean, I have been told before by a few people that it is a fit for me, but there has never been this much evidence encouraging me despite the forward motion propelling me. I feel so encouraged by those I am in class with, and I thank God for that. It is so wonderful to know that, while, yes I am in school right now to specifically be an ECE teacher, my end-goal is to be a Child Life Specialist, and I have the support of colleagues and professors. That makes my heart smile.

So after a hard day, where everything in me just wanted to crawl into bed and not come out till mid-May, this is the part that says, "Nope, 3 more projects and 1 more assignment, you got this... PUSH!!!! GOOOO!!!! This is for your future patients!!! You've got this!!! "

Day 23:opportunity

I am exhausted, but I feel thankful today for opportunity...the opportunity to serve the city I love through my church and the relationships it has with those in the city. I am thankful I have the means and opportunity. So many have asked for money to help those in Nepal, but my heart aches most for those hurting in my backyard. I know Nepal needs help and I have friends and their families there too, but this is home. 

Dat 22: The Gift to Share

Today was one of my graduate presentations, which I have been nervous about all semester. It is my longest presentation, but also about the topic I care about the most- Child life. Initially I asked if I could discuss Drama, but I was quickly shot down, and for that I am grateful. I realized later that this professor wants us to disccuss more deeply profound issues in schools. Some did not choose those issues, but I think she knew I was okay taking on a challenge, so she dared me. Challenge accepted.

I was a bit nervous to be honest, but I always am before a presentation. I get stage fright. I know. The actor gets stage fright. I do. Every. Time. Ever since I siezed up completely in a performance in college, it has scared me....(that performance that I siezed up in was the best I have given in my life, for the record. I siezed up, but was able to use the fear to propel the monologue to a place it had never been. It was kinda great,  even if I had a complete diva-esque meltdown right afterwards.) I get stagefright, but whenever I get in front of an audience, or in this case a classroom, suddenly it all melts away. It is in that moment I remember that I love this and I wouldn't change it for the world.

I had the opportunity to present child life to my teacher colleagues and it was as if I had opened a whole new world before them. It was beautiful. It was absolutely my blessing for the day and I felt honored to share it with them and share a bit of myself and my hopes for the future with them.

Day 21: Energy and My Baltimore

When I got home today, I smiled and said what a great day today was. Then I looked at my digital Washington Post and hear the helicopters and sirens that were too far to hear at work. Reality set in. As I started to ponder this I wasn't sure what I was thankful for. My heart is heavy and so shaken by all that is happening so close to home. I don't know what to say. I don't know what I can do. I close my eyes and pray, but all that happens is tears flow. The thing that comes to mind is...

Greater things have yet to come, greater things are still to be done in this city... I never thought that applied to home but today... To Baltimore, which I visit at least once a week... I had no idea you held so much pain and anguish within your borders...

When I think about my day, it pales in comparison to the days of others whose lives were destroyed. I think of the children my friend teaches in the city. What was their day like? I think of my friend whose husband is in blue. What was their day like? I feel guilty talking about my day. 

I will anyway but I'll keep it brief. Thanks to my rest yesterday, I felt energized today, took on the day despite many wrenches hurdled at me and only needed like 1/2 my normal coffee intake!!!:) Hoping to keep sleep to 8 hours- no less his week to keep the energy flowing.

Back to what I was saying before. If you are reading this, please pray for my Baltimore. No, I am not one of those pain in the butt Marylanders who goes once a year and claims it as theirs, but I truly love this city. As I type, I have heard a helicopter and 3 sets of sirens. I had no clue it could get so close to home.

Day 20:sleep

It's amusing to me how offended people are that I decided to stop using Facebook for the time being. People are acting like I am dying. I promise, I am very much alive and well. I just need to focus on the final weeks of school and the people who are right here in front of me instead of fancifully following people who I don't actually know, but merely follow on a page designed for people to foster feelings of jealousy. That's where I am at. Do not try to convince me, because you are not me. I need a break, so that is what I am doing. If people want to talk to me, they will find a way. I will be off of Facebook at least until day 40 of my 40 day challenge. We will see how things go from there.

Anyway,... today has been low-key, but I realized how tired I really was because I have spent much of the day sleeping. Which has been really nice. Minus the obscure dreams...but we can't always get what we want right? I suppose the rest is my blessing of the day- time to just take naps and rest.

I have a lot of thoughts running around this head of mine, but I'm not really sure how to write them, so I'm going to wait until an opportunity presents itself at a later time.

For now, enjoy the final moments of the weekend, love those who are around you, soak up the moments of those in your days, and make the most of the moments you have- for you never know when might be your last.

Day 19: Time

Today, I had the luxury of time. I was able to have the time to study for 3 straight hours this morning into the afternoon, then work on a project this evening for a solid 4.5 hours. I had no idea it would take me that long, but I am so thankful I had the time to work on it. So often, I am simply rushed and have to get things done and feel the heat, but today, I could focus on a task at a time and work through things.

Now, I am by no means much further on my list, but I feel better. Tomorrow is my rest day. Tomorrow's rest day will be modified to include time to clean. My room is a disaster and needs to be cleaned/organized. I will mandate myself to sleep in, I'll meet a friend for some lunch, then I'll head back and clean on my own watch. If I get overwhelmed by the thought of work at any point, I'll give myself permission to work on one project, but no more and I will give myself a time limit. Otherwise, no work until Monday. I need tomorrow to cool my coals and gear up for what very well may be the craziest week of the semester.

On another note, after some thought and reflection, I have decided to disable my Facebook, at least for the time being. I need a break from it all. I am so overwhelmed by the idea that there are real live people around me daily that I miss because I am so captivated by looking at people's 'highlight reel', which breeds jealousy in me and thoughts that are not thoughts I want to have about my friends. I don't understand why it has become okay for people to share photos, thoughts, reflections, and feelings with 1,000 of their 'friends', when true friends are sitting there waiting for them to call, spend time with them, share a photo with them directly, or reach out. This is going to be hard for me. I have people all over the world who will not even blink at the fact that I am not on facebook anymore. But, this will make me take a look at the relationships I have and decide which were superficial and superfluous, and which are meaningful and ones that I need to truly foster and hold dear to me.

I have so much on my heart and mind tonight, but I will share more tomorrow, as I hope to write a bit of a longer blog, since it's my down day:) My heart is heavy and I certainly think there's a reason I have this burden. I am both nervous and excited to see where this leads. More tomorrow.

Till then, be safe. Love those around you. As we taught our kids tonight, be a part of the SOLUTION, not the problem... boy does that ever reign true tonight.