Not gonna lie...

Not gonna lie, I've been feeling really down lately. Be it because I no longer have a clue what I want to do with my life, whether I realized that a lot of my friends will be gone here before I know it, because I had a dream the other night about summer at home and all of the good stuff going along with it, because I've lost most of my ward family, or because I'm just in a mood, I do not know.

I kinda have a feeling it's all of those things. Things have also been happening at home, like a friend from high school dying suddenly, and a good friend from school getting in a car wreck, as well as my dad having surgery soon, so it's hard to be away. i know that I'm supposed to be here, and that what I'm doing is going to basically steer me in the direction I need to be in for my career and such, but for the first time since I got here(other than when I was sick) i am officially homesick.

Call me crazy, but I am. I talked to my mom last night, and just to hear them was nice. I heard my nephew in the background, and just about lost it. I've never been away this long- ever. Especially from Jordan. I'm also starting to miss friends. I have this small fear that I'm growing apart from a lot of people, and that when we all get back we'll have nothing in common. I'm fairly certain that's just a bad thought, but it gets to me.

PS- those of you around home, I'm hoping to have a coming home party around August 22nd or so? I was thinking about the 16th, but I don't think I'll have recovered all the way yet:)

Anyway- I am supposed to be at lunch now, but wanted to just expel my thoughts on those things.

As I fell asleep last night, I was not happy, but prayed that if I dreamed of home it'd make me not miss it so much, and lo and behold I had a nightmare.. buh. Not exactly what I was hoping for. I'm very tired today, but hopefully things will be chill. We went to the hospitality center with our kids, and had fun and I got to see some of the kids from the ward again, but of coarse right when I got there, Geraldo and his mom were headed to the ship:( I don't know if they're going home today or not, but if so, at least I had yesterday with him.

My tummy is a grumbling, and I normally don't post frequently, so yeah:) Maybe I'll make a better habit of it so posts aren't novels anymore;)

All my love
and please keep me in your prayers!! Especially now!
<3 Michelle