Day 7: The Island

Now for the post I wanted to write on Saturday, but didn't get to due to what turned out to be exhaustion(from the sun, lots of exercise, etc.)

I feel SO blessed to have a place of escape from time to time here in Guinea. As much as I've tried to resist, Guinea has swept me away- the people, the scenery- incredible. My heart is here right now.

This is how you get to the island(well..on this kind of boat packed with Mercy Shippers:

It can be very hit or miss with me, but this time I was having fun doodling and enjoying the space, as our particular boat only had a few people on it and there was lots of room to spread out... my stomach churned a little bit, but what's new:)

When we got there, my friend Kelly brought out the paddle boards... I'd never heard of them before but was thrilled to try them out with her. Thankfully the island has a calm side and a rough side... we stuck to the calm side since I'm terrified of waves. Here's what my adventure on the boards looked like....


And so the adventure began....

David helping me get out

It took a while for me to get on my knees, but I did(I'm the one on the left).

 Clearly, I was determined

 

First attempt up

I'm Up....

And crash...

Trying again with less help

Boom

Getting back on/resting for a minute

Decided to go on my knees for a while, so I could get a handle on steering/rowing

Eventually Kelly switched out to give Ryan a turn... this is me from afar attempting to get up again(on the left).

I'M DOING IT!!!!

FIERCE!!!

Afterwards, Kelly and Ryan decided to take a bit of an excursion, so I met these lovely people who peeled me a grapefruit. Essentially, the colored part of the rind is peeled off, leaving the pith/the white stuff there... you cut a hole in the top and squeeze the juice(and the bounty of seeds) out. Once you've juiced it to your liking, you flip it inside out and eat the insides.... amazing... I think I'll do that at home if I can... but the peels to grapefruits here are about 1/2 inch thick...;)

After they got back, We headed to the rougher side of the island, where they paddle boarded the waves(oh no- you would NEVER get me out there doing that...), so I set up a hammock my friend let me borrow for the day, was forced to buy a coke(which I couldn't drink) to set up there, a great guy helped me get the hammock set up(takes a lot of weird knots for the- who knew!), and gave him the coke as a thank you.

After a while, I headed over to see about lunch- I'd ordered shrimp. Then we waited... and waited... it was 2:15 and the boat leaves at 3, so I decided to go back to my area(probably 1/4 mile away), pack my things up and bring them over so that once the food was here we could eat and go..... and we waited.... around 2:40 the guy finally showed up.... we chowed down like nobody's business. My friends got a fish with plantains and I got shrimp and fries, so naturally we all dug in... with our hands mostly... and enjoyed eachother's food:) Amazing fish... the shimp were... hm.. my mom makes better- I mean they were just out of the ocean- can't beat that, but fish straight out of the ocean is way better...:)

We took our hour-long boat ride back and when we got back, I took what felt like the best shower of my life after being in sand for 7 hours. And I just relaxed. However, later that night I got really exhausted- literally- nearly passing out and about to vomit, but once I layed down, I was good to go and slept a long night(where I then posted that blog). Totally worth it for the amazing day:)

Day 6: The Story

This song, The Story by Brandi Carlile, is one that has struck me as an amazingly beautiful, but cutting song. This morning I turned it on, as I was in a melancholy mood, but realized this is my blessing. For so long, I moped around saying 'I have nobody... I wish I had someone to share this song with'.... Then this morning it donned on me... I DO.... This is totally perfect- Jesus and I are this way- he knows everything about me- every scar, every line on my face, he knows my thoughts without me speaking them, and I was made to SERVE him... how incredible does that make this song... pretty amazing.. This picture fits perfectly too..

All of these lines across my face

Tell you the story of who I am

So many stories of where I've been

And how I got to where I am

But these stories don't mean anything

When you've got no one to tell them to

It's true...I was made for you

I climbed across the mountain tops

Swam all across the ocean blue

I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules

But baby I broke them all for you

Because even when I was flat broke

You made me feel like a million bucks

You do

I was made for you

You see the smile that's on my mouth

It's hiding the words that don't come out

And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed

They don't know my head is a mess

No, they don't know who I really am

And they don't know what 

I've been through like you do

And I was made for you...

All of these lines across my face

Tell you the story of who I am

So many stories of where I've been

And how I got to where I am

But these stories don't mean anything

When you've got no one to tell them to

It's true...I was made for you

Day 5: Beds and Sunsets

As I lay here feeling not so good all of my plans for this blog go out of the window. But this picture says it all... Also I'm thankful for a safe place to sleep and a mostly comfortable bed to sleep in.

Pray an extra prayer tomorrow for peace for Guinea.

Day 4: Lazare's Orphanage(sorry it's late- internet went weird last night when I tried.

Let me preface this by saying that each time I go to this place, I am blessed by it, so you may see this one come up a few times, however, each time I'll hone in on what blessed me THAT day...

Today I struggled to wake up- this hasn't happened in some time, so that frustrated me, putting me in a hurry to get ready to go to Lazare's this morning.

Now, let me explain in a very small nutshell what Lazare's is... it's an orphange/care center. Some of the parents have parents who simply can't take care of them, some abandoned for various reasons, and some have lost their parents. About 1/2 of these sweet ones have HIV and their ages range from about 2 months(that's one of the caretaker's babies though) to 13. This has become my heart and home in Guinea.

So, I got up and got ready quickly, and we were off- doing my usual call to Ansuman- our incredible translator and someone who is quickly becoming a friend of mine- to be sure he'll be waiting at the gas station near his home for us to get him to take him along in our land rover.

We arrived and today I was the one who got to knock. I knocked on this huge metal gate and it just echoes... it's kinda fun:) The door pulled open by one of the workers and to see the smiles on those children's faces as I walked in... how can that NOT bless you? They rush you with hugs and joy- especially those who they know(I've gone at least 2 times each month since we've gotten here and most recently weekly- it's become my hi-light of the week).

This time I came on in, my little man- Moise, who has become very attached to me, found me within a minute. I worry for his attachment to me sometimes, so I've begun to pull myself away from me. He knows he has a safe and comfortable place to sleep and feel safe and loved with me, but I also want him playing and learning while we're there. When he's only with me, he is grumpy Gus, but when he's playing his little face shines- it lights up and just shines and shines. After a bit, I separated myself from him and went to the kitchen to help cook- it's become something I love to do, as I love cooking but more-so I want to love on these caretakers who are so easily forgotten. Then was our usual story then play time.

Now, I have weeks I come home from Lazare's with energy and excitement, and times I come home with my heart in shreds trying to understand how if God loved his children so much, these children were in such bad shape. Today... I left wondering what God's got planned for me. One of the aunties looked at me and said 'you're trying to learn it all.. you're becoming African..' And I can't help but think that there's a reason I feel this sudden urge to learn Susu, french, how to cook, how to tie babies to my back. It could be that it's because i"m leaving soon, or it could be because I may very well be back in Africa in the future. The ship- maybe, maybe not, but Africa- definitely.

The greatest of all of my blessings today was seeing those children. When we came, so many were just in such bad shape- many new to the center. No life in their eyes, no smiles, no interaction, some would just lay there, or cry all of the time with no consolation. Week by week, I've seen little sparks ignite in some of these sweet babies. It's beautiful.

Me and Joseph the week we found he had gained weight!!!

Joseph is older than he looks and until very recently could not sit up on his own. A few weeks ago, I held him and massaged his back as he layed on his tummy.... now... that's when I realized something was wrong. Turns out little man has scoliosis. He has a full mouth full of teeth, but can't sit up, or walk, and hardly had any life in him. When I first held him I thought he was a 6 month old at the most- so light, bumps all over his skin, feverish- a wreck. A few weeks ago, there was a sudden change. I picked him up and he was heavy .... like... HEAVY.... and I rejoiced- nearly in tears for his gaining weight! Then I realized he was interacting more... last week he started shaking his head super fast, I got a smile and a laugh, I got him interacting with me... something that NEVER could've happened a few weeks ago... I nearly bursted into tears.... The ship has agreed to do PT on him to help with his scoliosis so he can grow up mostly normal and boy has it changed him!!! My friend came to me before we left today saying 'Joseph can sit up on his own.' I JUMPED for joy!!! :)

Then there's sweet Esther. I don't know her whole story but a few weeks ago she got VERY sick with an infection that was wreaking havoc on her skin and eating away at it.... she used to be a clingy and protective child, but when she got sick she was even more so.... clearly in pain all of the time and only wanted attention from very few- agony was written all over her face. Today, I saw her carrying a wagon full of toys behind her as she walked and smiled..... and of course, I couldn't help but get this HUGE smile on my face and tell everyone about it....

These are the moments I know God has brought us here not just for a fun missions trip- but for a reason- to further his Kingdom- to love those who have been forgotten.

Earlier I put my little man Moise down for his nap and I heard crying and crying and crying. Went to find out what was going on and one of the little ones- maybe 2 years old- was in the middle of the floor just crying. She saw me and ran straight for me and jumped into my arms. I still couldn't get her to stop making sounds of fear.... so I sang to her.... I realized she felt like nobody could hear her- can you imagine at 2 years old how that must feel.

Now, let me make something VERY clear. The Aunties at Lazare's are INCREDIBLE women of God who are doing their best to make this place run smoothly. But, think about this- maybe 8 total aunties to 27 children... do that math.... most of the kids under age 3... Pray for them please... they need help- they especially need men to come and be role models for these boys(our oldest kids are all boys) and show them love despite the clear rejection they've had by their own families. Pray for the aunties to have energy and for more to come their way to help out in any possible way. Also, pray for sweet Mariatu- a 2 year old who badly broke her leg and almost lost it due to lack of medical care available  thankfully someone was willin to help her and save her leg, but pray that the healing would go quickly- she's in a full cast(up to her ribs) and can't sit up or move much- pray that the healing would come quickly and with little issue. Thank GOD he used the right people and we were able to save her leg!!!! 

Day 3: James

My greatest blessing in my life over the past week is this:

This is the newest addition to our family-my nephew James. He had a bit of a rough go being 6 weeks early, but he's already blessed me SOOOOOO much... just look at him!!:) Truly- he's a miracle and a blessing to each and every one of our family members and beyond... he's also named after my current favorite book of the bible... ;)

Short and sweet today- not feeling much like writing, but this picture speaks louder than any words I could give.

Blessing number 2: Honesty

Really the only thing that comes to mind right off the bat without any force today is simply- honesty.

I've been dealing with lots of different trials lately related to all aspects of life. During it, I've really had a hard time... trying to figure out why those things have been happening to me, going to friends moaning and groaning all about my problems and seeking counsel from THEM.

Here's where the honesty part comes... I had been struggling with a situation and I had prayed and prayed and prayed about it and thought it was going to end up just the way I had hoped- a few nice words, a hug and we'd be back on track. What happened in real life however, was much more startling. My friend was honest... BRUTALLY honest with me... All of my hopes of a great conversation dashed and I cried for literally 1/2 of the conversation. Anyone who knows me knows that's  a big deal- unless watching a movie, I don't cry for ANYTHING unless it's serious...

You may be asking yourselves, 'Michelle....um... then how was that a blessing....'. Whenever people are honest with me, I take a punch, but I come back stronger. Sometimes I have to take multiple punches to the same area of my life before I decide to come back and fight stronger- this certain situation was one of those moments... a life-long battle I've had within me was being addressed right to my face, but my friend, my dear friend was HONEST with me.

I'll admit, after the conversation, I was struggling... I cried for at least an hour, I prayed, I got angry, I stomped on the floor... But then I realized, 'Michelle... this is your chance for change... do it'. God's so good, right? I ended up resting in him for a while and listening.... I started realizing this was not going to end me, I didn't need to run and tell anyone about it- it was for me and him and my friend to have- nobody else and it was going to be a hard adjustment, but a change is in progress for the better because that friend was hoest with me... and God had wrapped his huge arms around me and gave me peace and comfort by the end of the day that surpasses anything any human could've given me.

Honesty has always been reallllly hard for me to swallow.... it's like putting the worst medicine in my mouth and forcing me to swallow- reminds me of a story actually...

When was little, I had to be on an antibiotic for something or other- I was always taking something between my ears, my lungs and the rest of me. But this time I was really little... Normally I had some Hawiian Punch(anyone else miss that stuff?) to mask the taste and I could pretty much get it down, but we had run out...My mom and dad had the plan down.. one at my head to hold my head still and restrain me, one at the feet. They tried and tried and wasted I don't even know how much medicine on me spitting it out. There's the method of holding the mouth and nose shut, which I'm pretty sure is what happened during this, but I REFUSED to swallow the stuff- it tasted like poison... so I threw up all over the place...after that moment, my mom told the doctors I was allergic to it- not because I was, but because we didn't want to go through that again... we claimed this for quite some time:)

That's how hard honesty can be for me to swallow.

However, honesty has always been the one thing to bring a relationship closer and more true. the only way I've been able to stay friends with certain people in my life is their brutal honesty and their willingness to do so- and recieve it as well. There's a huge difference between being brutally honest and giving truth with love though.... when truth is given in love for the other person, good always comes from it. Sometimes it SUCKS to hear that certain aspects of your personality make people want to not be around you, or you are too much this or that when all you're trying to be is yourself... but... God really works through those honest moments.

For the record- things were miscommunicated a little in that conversation between us, but the after-effect is still tough to take... but God's teaching me- 'don't put all your eggs in a basket and really you should come to me first, not them anyway- they are imperfect humans....they will let you down'... you'd think I'd know this by now... time after time is happens, but hey- God loves to use these moments and turn them into BLESSINGS... though they may be in disguise for a little while;) 

I'll end with a quote...

" He is the same yesterday, today and forever, and his unchanging and unfailing love stustains me when nothing and no one else can." -Bill Bright

Lent Challenge Day 1 and Explaination

Friends,

I've never been one who participated in lent, as it was simply never a part of the Baptist tradition to do so.  However, given the great opportunity and surroundings, this year I decided it was not only something I wanted to participate in, but something I NEEDED to participate in.

Over the last few weeks, I've been growing closer to God than I have been in a very long time. While this is exciting, it's brought its challenges. I've also been making an effort to make a better me- a new years goal more than resolution, but this means taking care of myself better and getting into good shape so that I can live a long and healthy life, not one cut off by preventable illnesses. There's also lots of ideas of what the future looks like twirling around this head of mine, so I figured, I should certainly participate in the fasting during Lent and see what comes of it, as I'm sure God is going to bless the time.

I won't mention everything here, but the biggest change for me is that I will NOT be using Facebook. I have deactivated my account(I will re-activate on Easter). Facebook has been one of the greatest tools for me to keep in touch with my dear friends at home and all of you, of course. However, it's also become a huge stumbling block. I've found myself countless times in front of the computer checking up on people and facebook 'stalking' people rather than doing what I need to be doing with my day. It's become a time sucker, and not what it was originally intended to be- a point of contact. I was also finding myself divulging more information about my personal life than one maybe should be at any given moment- I'm a very spontaneous thinker and emotional person... this can be dangerous on facebook. Therefore, it's out of my life for the next 40 days. If you want to talk to me, please feel free to email me at michellejoy06@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you, see your pictures, and participate in your lives still- just not through Facebook.

I've also taken on a few things I'm 'giving up' to focus on getting rid of some of my bad eating habits (no fizzy drinks(as they call them here) or extra sugars- natural sugars are allowed but nothing with extras.... we'll see how this one goes. I've been told you may pick 1 day where you're 'off the hook' and I won't ever be off the hook on the facebook one, but this one... I will. My birthday is smack dab in the middle of Lent- March 9th.... so I decided I may enjoy my foods on that day, but then go right back to it the next day.

I've also made a few personal challenges that I won't share, but I'm excited to see how God grows me through them.

Blogging was my last challenge to myself... 40 days.... I want to write 40 days of blessings I have in my life... so this is where we will begin...

Blessings Day 1: My Mom

Now, I'm fairly certain the way my mom loves to love people is through gifts.

As you may or may not know, the youth pastor from my home church is currently on board. Now, he was not my youth pastor, but the one right after and has done some really great things for our church community. He wanted to see what Mercy Ships is all about, and we figured now would be great because my mom would be on board and help show him around,etc. However, plans changed a few months ago. My mom needed to pull out due to work-related issues, which in turn became a HUGE blessing because then my nephew James was born on the 11th, when she was SUPPOSED to be here.

I picked up Ryan from a friend of Mercy Ships' home... long story... and he said 'this is your bag'. I was like 'um... what?' The things I had ordered for myself were small and should've taken up no space at all, so I was confused when I saw this duffel about 1/2 full of items. I opened it up and it TRULY felt like Christmas.... I had tapped into my savings ordered myself as a treat some goodies for me to enjoy during the rest of my time here- books, a new Itouch, etc. I had also requested a few other things (Taebo dvds, toothpaste)... just a few things. I open the bag and I'm beyond myself- I see valentines candies and more valentines  candies- and wait- MORE valentines candies, as well as my favorite cake mix(no doubt for my birthday), and another cool cake mix, which I'm sure was intended for Valentines day, but I may save until after lent so I can try one- Pink Lemonade cake mix and icing- who knew? I also plan on saving some of the valentines candies for myself later as well;)

In that moment, I was full of joy.... I realized in that moment something I had kinda known my whole life but was confirmed in this moment- I'm certain my mom's main love language(at least in giving) is gifts. She doesn't love getting them(merely for the attention I supposed), but LOVES showering them on us- especially when I'm so far away and there's a way to..... for that I feel extremely BLESSED today- Thanks mommy!! I love you and miss you.

With about 3 months left on this journey... I'm excited that about 1/2 of that time will be me spending it focusing more on God and the Great things he has done for me.

<3 M